Freshman Essays, The Zombie Apocalypse, and Stupid Librarian Films

This is undeniable truth. So here I am, sitting in my dorm room, sans glasses because i accidentally broke the other earpiece off while standing up from listening to the boys discuss what they would do if there was a zombie apocalypse.

My very drunk Alaskan friend decided he would promptly go back to Alaska and start living off the land, to which my very drunk Californian friend said "Fuck that, you'd die, and you know why? It's fucking cold. It's fucking empty. There's nothing to fucking eat in Alaska, because the white man would come and kill all your mooses and shit, and then we'd eat all you natives. And I would be sitting there, picking bits of your leg out of my teeth with a splinter of your bone and shit, and thinking how delicious you taste."

To which the Alaskan replied that he could go fuck himself in the Rockies with the Donner Party, a bunch of stupid white people who don't know how to live off the land and ate themselves.

I love my friends. Anyway, that is not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is this: I am in a mild state of panic as concerns my freshman essay, which is on Divine and Natural law in the Oresteia, primarily Agamemnon, and my Greek tutor just told me that my essay was quite promising but also that i needed to incorporate the furies, which is a problem. i had been trying to avoid the furies, because they are so intricate and complex, but it seems i have no choice. so now i have to completely reorganize my essay to include these damned creatures, which is irksome and i may start slightly hyperventilating soon.

also, i watched the stupidest, but most excellently ridiculous film ever last night: The Librarian 3. It's like the quest for the judas chalice or something and is totally a rip off of Indiana Jones and James Bond and features a very dweeby, photographic memory-blessed yet attractive librarian named Flynn who has to go find the Judas Chalice (sort of the antithesis to the Holy Grail) which the Russians want to use since it will help to ressurect Dracula. And he meets a very sexy vampire named Simone who has hair and clothes i envy (see picture), and together they defeat the forces of evil owing to her vampirism and his...librarian skills? Anyway my favorite part is when they are constructing a sort of improvised cannon and when it fires and slams open the door he shouts "Yaaaaaaaaaaay Newton!!" very enthusiastically and this made me giggle. A lot. It is the stupidest movie ever, but i appreciate it oh so much.

bagels