So since Latte has clearly taken a hiatus from writing blogs, even though i hopefully check each day, I shall just merrily continue on detailing my strange life. Last night I had the WEIRDEST dream ever. It went as follows:
So i am sitting in this interrogation room, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I look like an old balding man. There are two policemen in the room, asking me if I know how I died.
I don't know, I say in frustration, because they have clearly been asking me this for some time. They keep asking, until eventually I have this flashback memory of me writing a suicide note and beheading myself because I hated how my boyfriend was cheating on me. I tell the policemen this, who smile and say that they were waiting for me to remember that. Then they push me out of the door and into this very gloomy landscape. I look down and realize I have become myself again, and start walking. The sky is very dark - yellowish greenish black - and there are jagged trees everywhere and a little girl in a white dress is standing outside this old dilapidated house. I walk past her and she tells me to go inside and hurry, because the quicker i achieve my goal the quicker she can go inside. So i knock on the door and a woman who looks like Maggie Smith opens it and beckons me inside. She tells me I am a wandering soul and I have to find my soul card, otherwise I won't get to heaven.
What's a soul card? I ask, and she tells me i'll know when I find it, but that it is where my soul is kept (kind of like in a dirty job, by christopher moore, only a bit different). So i go back to my old house, and decide to write my sister a letter, inside this handmade book my best friend gave me for my 16th birthday which explains ten reasons to love me (it was the best present EVER).
Of course, the minute I begin writing a letter to my sister, the book disappears and I grow a magnificent pair of angel wings, which take me up into the sky and guide me to heaven. I open the door to heaven, and find my mother, sister, brother, and aunt in a room that looks just like the gift shop of the historical society i used to work at. And they all smile and tell me they're glad i've made it.
but why are you here? I ask them, confused. They tell me they died right after me, but they found their soul cards faster.
Where's Dad? I ask mom. She looks very sad and tells me he was the only one to live, and she shows me what he's doing. He's sitting in a chair with a cigar, listening to a victrola record of sad music and looking very glum. She says he can come join us all in heaven if i can help him find his soul card. but only i can do this, because i was the last one to arrive and thus the closest to earth.
Ok, I say.
Where is it? What do I have to do? She tells me to write down the lyrics to their favorite song, and dictates the first few lines. A cashier in the room hands me a piece of blank receipt paper and I write down the lyrics to a song i can't remember. And then the cashier hands me an empty ring box and my mother tells me to put the lyrics in the top. Then she takes off her engagement ring and puts it in the box, her eyes welling with tears.
Its in here, she says.
Your father' s soul is in my engagement ring.Are you sure this will work? I ask.
The lyrics are incomplete.That's ok, my aunt says.
Your uncle's was in my old baseball mitt and they didn't mind that i only had the first few lyrics to our song. It'll be fine. I nod and take the ring box, and hug my mother and my sister, who smiles and returns to intently drawing a welcome to heaven picture for my father. but before I can go down to put the box near my father, my alarm goes off and I wake up.
And that was my dream. It was strange as fuck.
