I Am Most Pissed Off

So as anyone who knows me will know, I have a slight, mostly harmless obsession with The X Files and David Duchovny. (Bear with me, Latte.) Anyway, the point is my friend and I have half-jokingly been trying to get him to come lecture at our college, on what we are unsure, but that is not the material point. The material point is, we want him here so he can lecture and we can sleep with him. That being said, we accept that this is purely impossible, namely because we have no contact information and why he would come to Maryland I don't know.

Anyway. So my friend has this other friend, who I don't like AT ALL. She is condescending, and rude, and thinks she is all hipster. None of our other friends like her, but this does not stop my X Files friend, which is fine, you know? to each her own. But this girl comes in and looks at the X Files screen, and says "you know I'm hanging out with David Duchovny this summer. I know someone who works on Californication."
We exclaim our surprise and enormous envy appropriately, and explain the aforementioned plan to her. She then says, "yeah, I'll probably sleep with him this summer. He's a sex addict."
To which we reply that that is unacceptable and uncool to gloat about so shamelessly to us, and she says: "But I'll probably just get him to fuck me in a bathroom so it'll be no big deal if that makes it better."

It does not. Of course, I accept the impossibility of meeting David Duchovny, let alone sleeping with him. I accept this completely, and keep my real hopes up for more accessible people. (Note earlier angst.) Regardless, I am SO envious! I may actually be green. Utter sexiness aside, I love his work in both X Files and Californication. He's one of my favorite actors, and for this slut to have the opportunity to spend the summer chilling WITH DAVID DUCHOVNY is totally unfair.

I really don't like her, and this has but cemented my dislike. I wouldn't mind so much except that she is so smug and conceited about everything that i can only begrudge her her good fortune.